A Mind of My Own

What the future holds I’m not sure. I just want to be sure about something and yet afraid to do it. It’s my first step towards something. I have tried to work towards another goal, getting a writing job but unfortunately, been rejected twice. It isn’t as much as some who may have been rejected 10 times.

I find that in Singapore, if you want to work towards your dreams, it isn’t that easy. Various factors include:

• Your own flat.
• You lack the reputation such as being featured in magazines for photography, writing, etc.
• Your own car.
• You have been doing what you hope will help you but unfortunately, your face needs to be plastered all over the net and your name must be found all over the net before anyone will want to feature you.

I will be facing the unknown and I think I may have to plaster my name all over the net and write my name all over the net so that the idea that I have in mind will take off. I don’t know how long it’ll take but I hope that it’ll pay off well.

Life here has been good. I can walk home after 7pm without much worries except for that time when I saw that flasher. That memory wasn’t good because that wanker hasn’t been caught and I don’t know why the police never did call me for a photo fit. Oh wait, Mas Salamat was/is more important than some penis attention. Sorry.

While I have some complains about the public transport, I will not say that I don’t love my country. I just love my country only. However, life has become stressful in some ways because if you are not promoted at work, you are screwed when you reached your 30s for a woman and 40s for a man. It isn’t written but it’s all in the mindset.

The future is scary because I know what I don’t want. However, I don’t know what I want. My elimination list is rather long at this moment and I hope that by the time I have eliminated 70%, I know what I want.