A Mind of My Own

The drill seemed to take more time in going down the stairs than taking attendance. It didn’t seem to mean anything. We just walked down 17 floors to the bottom. There was a human jam from 10th floor onwards.

With such a tall building, having a drill is important but going down the long stairs takes time and it’s jammed when reaching the ground level. Everyone was moving calmly but when the real situation strikes, would we be just as calm?

I’m so sleey right now. Slept at 12am because my sister was playing Princess Hours on her laptop and I was interested in the progress. It was rather hot even with the fan turned on. Woke up at 2.30am just to find that my blanket wasn’t covering me.

I was tossing and turning in the bed covering and uncovering myself with the blanket until 6am. I’m so not in the mood for the fire drill this afternoon. I hate fire drills, it’s always on a very hot and sweaty dat. Now it’s worst, I’ve to walk down 17 floors! If this company ever moves to another location, I pray that it’s 5th storey from now on.

The youths have given their views on the recent transport changes. One of them mentioned a very good reason why driving is preferred; comfort. Plastering yourself to the glass doors every morning just to get to work or school is not comfortable. The doors are dirty.

A tertiary youth mentioned that it is unfair for poly students to pay adult fares when not all of them are working. They should have the same subsidy as JC, secondary and primary. It’s also a psychological impact if the leaders were to follow in the footsteps of London Mayor and New York Mayor. If you don’t take the public transport, how can you be sure that the current system is actually to the public’s satisfaction?

It’s apparently our fault that the bus does not stop for us to board. Why? Because we did not flag it early. Well, if the bus at the bus stop stops us from being able to see the next bus, is that our fault? If the staircase of the overhead bridge blocks our view for the oncoming traffic, whose fault is it? If the very large and old tree is blocking the view, do we cut the tree down? What about the large advertisement signboards?

Besides, the bus stops do not shelter us from heavy rains. In fact, it’s not a bus shelter since they can’t really shelter the bus, can they? They’re just bus stops even when the buses may not stop when we have flagged them.

A few months ago, the bus fare hikes had raised a lot of hackles. So, what would they do?

Have you waited for someone to call you when that person mentioned, “I’ll call you later. Gotta go.” You say “OK” and waited the whole night up for it? The call never came and no other form of contact was made.

It’s disappointment and sadness. Disappointed that the call never came and you just want to hear the person’s voice. Sad that the call never came and it was a broken promise. I feel that way now. It feels that you’ve been stood up.

There’re certain places which I don’t feel like visiting yet because they bring back memories that I haven’t been able to archive yet. Moving on has been hard for me. I’ve tried to put them at the back of my mind but when I see a certain scene, the memories come flooding back.

I don’t want to visit that place even though it’s been months. I’ve been very unfair to someone and I really don’t know how to overcome myself. I should have re-read this. It’s time for self-reflections and letting go.

The princess has been planning a surprise. She wants to surprise her loving and generous knight. She hopes to be able to give him the gift on the special date. She has been acting princessy all these while pretending to want a lot of things but it seemed to have taken a toil on the knight.

She has sensed it and is hoping to salvage whatever she can. Would she be able to do it?

I had meant to start on Internet banking the other day but I can’t because there’s a new protocol added and I don’t have the device yet. I’ve created an ID for it a few months back. I wonder if the bank sends to those who are using Internet banking frequently first.  Maybe.

I hope I receive it soon. Haven’t had the chance to check out the features yet.

I saw Adrian Pang and Eunice Olsen at SIM today. They were doing a recording for The Arena. I wonder what show is that. There were some students participating in the debate or question and answer session. We were watching them from level 3. Adrian Pang is taller in person than on TV.

Eunice Olsen was sitting down so I can’t tell if she’s tall or not. I’m not sure what time they left because I left for my back massage session by the other direction.

I had a free 30-minute back massage this afternoon at True Spa, courtesy of DD. The experience was good. My shoulders were less aching and sore after the massager used most of her strength on them.

I like the idea of free hydrobaths when signing up a new package with them. I’m a lot poorer though. I can even bring a friend along to enjoy the free hydrobath too! Anyone up for it?

I feel so crossed today. I’m angry with myself. I’m angry with everything else today. I’m not sure what happened, well, actually I know. I just feel so crossed with myself. Sometimes, I don’t know why I had to do it this way or that. I just do it and it affects everyone else.

When it happens, I just berate myself on why I had done it that way. I could have done it another way, so why didn’t I slow down to think of the consequences? Sometimes, I’m just too rash for my own good. I just jump into things without thinking too much. It can be both a good and bad thing. Things get done but other times, feelings and pride get hurt and wounded. I didn’t want that to happen.

I want to scream out. Yet, there’s no place for me to scream, my mum and sister would come to me running shouting, “做么?” My brothers would shout from their seats, “WHAT?” Nah, I won’t want to do that. I just let my frustrations out in another way. I do curse sometimes but today, it’s not that bad until I had to curse. Curse as in 诅咒. It’s just that sometimes, things don’t get done my way and I want it to be.

I  had planned to do something that wasn’t done last week and was a little disappointed that I won’t be able to do it this week. Well, maybe I can do it once I plan my time.

I hate Saturdays with class. Darn.